K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Randomize
