She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
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