Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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