omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Welp...herpes.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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