How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
