Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I would ride that face into the sunset
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
