Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Randomize
