what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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