so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
