I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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