you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
