Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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