If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
