I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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