No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
