i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
false alarm. still invincible.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Randomize
