So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
