are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
