fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
