I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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