Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
