Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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