i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
