oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
