Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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