I smell stomach acid.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
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