mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
There r osticjed everywhere
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
