A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
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I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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