the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
im holly from the hills drunk
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
