I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
