Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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