I want to stick my p in your. b.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
