Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i would punch a child for taco bell
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
