Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
