your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Randomize
