Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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