My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
