So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Randomize