I wish life had little blips of pornography
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
