I want to walk on stilts...naked
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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