With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
