Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
