Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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