evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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