Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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