i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
nutella sex= disaster
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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