He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
We named our party play list daddy issues
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I'm always down for nudity.
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