I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
