Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
false alarm, still single
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