I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize