you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
