Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
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She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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