I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
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