is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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