I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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