Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
