He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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