Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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