you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Sacagawea was the original milf.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
