its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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